


Their Hands, and Mine

by foxxick



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: AU where Atlus doesn't make Kanji's sexuality into a joke, And tackling the root of why he's so afraid of him, Camping Trip Rewrite, Character Study, Early stages of poly souyokan relationship where Yu and Kanji are kinda dating, Hanamura Yosuke-centric, Holding Hands, Internalized Homophobia, Introspection, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Sleeping Together, This fic is just Yosuke hyping himself up to hold hands with Yu and Kanji, but this fic is mostly about Yosuke's thoughts regarding Kanji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29233503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxxick/pseuds/foxxick
Summary: The infamous "tent scene" rewritten; Kanji is never forced to leave the tent.Yosuke's POV, just a quick dissection of his thoughts and fears.
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu/Tatsumi Kanji, Hanamura Yosuke/Tatsumi Kanji, Narukami Yu/Tatsumi Kanji
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40





	Their Hands, and Mine

Yosuke leaned as far back as he could manage, staring up through the clearing in the trees at the vast cosmic ocean above him. Without the city's light pollution, he was able to see the stars clearly, twinkling like fresh powdered snow.

It was stuffy and uncomfortable back in their tent, and he'd snuck outside for a bit of fresh air. Though Kanji and Yu had fallen asleep fairly quickly, he'd been restless and unable to get any sleep at all; in part, due to his anxiety about sharing such tight quarters with Kanji.

He hadn't exactly done anything to make Yosuke worry – in fact, he'd been the first to fall asleep – but there was still _something_ that made Yosuke uneasy enough to forego sleep. Although he hadn't known Kanji long, he somehow couldn't see him as the type to try anything funny while he was sleeping, and yet he still couldn't seem to shake the feeling of fear that overtook him whenever he turned his back... but it had been a long time since Yu had fallen asleep, he'd had plenty of opportunities since then, and nothing had happened.

Yosuke sighed. He knew it was all in his head, but he couldn't help worrying when Kanji was right next to him _and_ double his size.

Maybe he should just put his headphones on and pretend he was home in his bed.

He stood and brushed the dirt off his pants, then quietly unzipped the tent flap and ducked inside. It was dark inside without the soft light of the stars, and it took a minute for his eyes to adjust, but he managed to crawl back to his sleeping bag and lay down without waking either of his friends up.

An odd, tight feeling restricted his throat as his slowly adjusting eyes glimpsed Yu's hand laying across Kanji's chest, rising and falling with the even rhythm. Kanji's own hand held it just far enough away that he wondered if it was meant to be kept secret from him. The thought made him feel oddly guilty. It wasn't as if he had an issue with _that_ , it was just...

What _did_ he have an issue with? The way that his partner seemed to act more like himself around Kanji? The affectionate gazes the two shared? He might have been a little jealous, maybe even a bit resentful that Kanji could tell off and threaten to beat up anybody who made fun of him. If Yosuke were half as brave, and maybe a tad more reckless, he could be honest with them – and with himself – about how he felt. He was scared of Kanji dragging him into something he didn't _want_ to object to, or that would back him into a corner where he'd have to admit he was _different_ , as if merely being around him would make everyone suspicious that he too, was _like that_. But a part of him wished for it, so that he wouldn't have to confront himself by choice. It would be easier if someone could do it for him, that's why he concocted these ridiculous scenarios that got him so worked up in the first place. There'd be no backing down if it wasn't confined within his own tumultuous thoughts.

Yosuke exhaled a shaky breath and pursed his lips. Looking at Kanji's peacefully sleeping face, he wondered if he had the same anxieties, or if he'd worked through them when he confronted his shadow. He would be lying if he said he wasn't a tad jealous about how open Kanji could be with the rest of the team _because_ they'd seen that side of himself. At first, Yosuke had been glad that only Yu had been with him when he faced himself, but now... it felt like he was hiding things from him.

He shifted closer, his eyes fixed on Yu and Kanji's hands. Would it be worth it? To indulge in such a brief and selfish desire, weighed against the fear of discovery, and the inevitable embarrassment when the three of them woke up in the morning? Perhaps he could explain it away, pretend it never happened. But would that solve anything? If he kept repressing the feelings that surfaced on nights like these, would he lose his Persona?

His fear of Kanji's stature posed no threat when he was the one in control of his actions; he was making the conscious choice in this moment to take the first step – no matter how small it may be – and though his heart raced, his mind was certain.

When he placed his hand overtop of theirs, he half-expected some sort of cataclysmic, earth-shattering reaction, for the ground beneath him to open up and swallow him whole; but it remained just as silent and calm as it had been for the majority of the night. Nothing. 

He breathed a sigh of relief and settled back down onto his side, tension seeping out of his muscles as he felt Kanji's chest steadily rise and fall beneath his arm. A sense of embarrassed accomplishment spread across his cheeks, proud of himself for following through.

All at once, something shifted, and Yosuke nearly pulled his hand away in fear, but before he could, Kanji entwined their fingers in a half-conscious attempt to return his affection.

With a miniscule smile on his lips, Yosuke finally began to drift off to sleep, his anxiety now clamped down and overridden by a tentative swell of happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3 This fic was actually supposed to be a companion piece to a comic I'm working on, which I'll link here when I finish it. Keep an eye on my twitter (@okitanoniisan) if you're interested!


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